From Keynote at Mel King Institute's 11th Anniversary

Good morning, everyone. It's truly a pleasure and an honor to be here, surrounded by so many wonderful faces, as we delve into a topic that is more critical now than ever: leadership. We find ourselves in a moment that can only be described with superlatives – it’s frustrating, exciting, painful, and full of opportunities. And these opportunities are ripe for the taking, if we are willing to step into our leadership roles, not in the traditional sense, but in a way that truly empowers us all.

Often, when we talk about leadership, we confine it to formal positions, assuming someone must appoint us to manage others. This traditional view stems from an outdated understanding of power – power over others – suggesting a single pathway to influence. However, when we consider the myriad ways power and leadership intersect, it becomes clear that we each hold a profound responsibility to exercise leadership at the individual level, in our own lives, and in every space we touch, occupy, and share.

Inspired by the wisdom of Mel King's poetry, particularly the notion that 'love is the question and the answer,' I propose a slight remix: 'You are the question and the answer.' This reframes our collective challenge, especially as we confront issues like racism and strive for racial equity. We often discuss 'the system' as if it's an external entity, separate from us, something 'over there' that someone else is responsible for. But the reality is, we are all part of the system we talk about.

What does this mean explicitly? It means we have the inherent ability to shift and change. We are at a critical precipice of change, both locally and nationally. To truly leverage this moment, it requires each of us to reclaim our power, to own our power as leaders. This journey begins with reframing the issues and recognizing our place within them. It starts with us.

Building Self-Awareness and Racial Equity Literacy

To lead effectively, we must cultivate a deep sense of self-awareness and build our racial equity literacy. This isn't about becoming a historian, but about understanding the comprehensive historical context that has shaped our present reality – a history that most of us were never taught in school.

The Power of Historical Context

If we haven't taken the time to learn this history, it cannot magically appear in our minds. We must actively seek it out. Key historical moments, if unknown or misunderstood, leave us without the full context to comprehend why our communities look the way they do today, why we interact with each other in particular ways, or why organizations maintain certain policies and practices. Every industry, every racial equity issue, is explained by a series of historical narratives that are often absent from our traditional education. Without this foundational context, any solutions we propose for today's problems will be woefully inadequate, lacking the truth, variety, and complexity of human experiences, policies, and decisions – both those we are proud of and those we are not.

Understanding this historical relationship allows us to connect the past to the present. It helps us see how current data – and by 'data,' I mean not just numbers but also qualitative insights – informs us about racial inequities. Qualitative data provides crucial context on the real experiences, strengths, power, and everyday struggles of people in our communities. It highlights not just the disproportionate burden of racial inequities but also the persistent fight for community, the efforts to hold traditional leaders accountable for decisions rooted in old ideas and formulas, simply because 'that's just the way we've always done it.'

In this pivotal moment, for us as leaders in our own lives – because everyone is a leader, starting with themselves – it's imperative to learn this context. To acknowledge that as people, we share foundational human conditions, and that oppression, layered on top, creates an incredibly complex and messy reality that is difficult to untangle.

Navigating the Human Condition: The Foundation of Personal Resilience

One profound insight from behavioral economics of the 90s is that we are not, by default, purely rational beings. We fall into numerous logical potholes daily. Our unconscious mind, which often drives us, seeks to simplify a complex world. While this works for basic tasks, real complexity demands our conscious mind. We need to be in the leadership position of managing ourselves, engaging thoughtfully with others, and confronting difficult decisions. This requires presence, managing the thoughts that run behind the scenes and can impede our ability to truly listen or understand.

We have the opportunity to set aside self-doubt and insecurities that distract us from truly engaging with another individual, a community, or a critical decision. Developing the skills to manage ourselves is essential, because by default, we are not rational. Accepting this fundamental truth fosters the humility required to learn the tools for better self-management. This is not easy; it’s hard work. It's challenging to engage patiently with people at different stages of their human development or racial equity literacy. It's difficult to stay in conversation when we believe we know best or have all the answers, knowing that no single person holds all solutions.

This opportunity for self-management is crucial for meaningful engagement with others. As Mel King recognized, collective effort is vital to move work forward. This form of **personal leadership**, rooted in understanding ourselves and our foundational human conditions, and owning it with humility, is the first step.

From Awareness to Strategic Action: Embracing Personal Leadership

The next piece is about taking action – not random acts, but strategic action informed by our racial equity literacy and our understanding of where we can exert influence. This involves leveraging traditional levers of power to genuinely move our communities forward. Such action must tap into our strengths, our feelings, and our emotions, allowing us to overcome the fear of stepping out and committing to something larger than ourselves.

Commitment is inherently scary. It means putting ourselves out there, even when those around us are doubtful or questioning, even when those we thought were more advanced in their understanding hesitate. Moving the needle forward requires us to put ourselves in a vulnerable position. For instance, when addressing the disproportionate burden faced by Black people at the hands of law enforcement, being an 'accomplice' – rather than just an 'ally' – implies a degree of danger and sacrifice. It means facing the possibility of losing relationships or organizational support. These sacrifices are part of the work, and we must be honest about what we are willing to give as leaders committed to these issues.

The Power of Collective Action: 'Power With'

The beauty of Mel King's approach is the concept of 'power with' – when individuals are clear about their values, committed to the community rather than personal agendas, and focused on the work, bringing them together creates an exponential increase in impact. We won't always win, but strategic, meaningful, selfless action significantly increases the likelihood of success. When we join forces, holding firm to a shared vision and a commitment to holding each other accountable with love, we foster healthy conflict that is essential for generating the best ideas and approaches. And again, this conflict isn't personal.

Traditional leadership often allows for an easy out: 'I didn't do it, I'm a good person. Look at all the good we've done!' This position, however, effectively abdicates responsibility. It prioritizes personal feelings and needs over the official role. Any criticism received by leaders in traditional roles should be seen not as a personal attack, but as an opportunity to be better. By saying 'there's nothing we can do,' or 'I'm separate from the system I lead,' leaders fail to practice good leadership; they fail to own their power or leverage available resources for change.

True **personal leadership**, whether in formal or informal positions, actively seeks good feedback for continuous improvement. While it's incredibly hard not to take criticism personally, especially after pouring 'blood, sweat, and tears' into something, the reality is that it's about improving the work. It's an opportunity to engage, informed by the context experts – the communities themselves. When communities or employees criticize formal leadership, it's an invaluable chance for an organization to grow.

Beyond Blame: Swimming Upstream to Systemic Issues

At our organization, All Aces, we observe a consistent pattern across various organizations: whenever people of color or other underestimated groups report recurring negative experiences, the issue is often framed as individual complaints. However, it's crucial to understand that it's not about individuals 'causing problems' or being 'troublemakers'; it's about the environment the organization has created for those experiences to occur. This is where the relationship between the organization, traditional power structures, and real-life experiences becomes clear.

If we own our responsibilities, instead of dismissing concerns, we can ask: 'What are we, as an organization, doing that facilitates these experiences?' This question liberates us to innovate, to 'swim upstream' to the system, processes, practices, and culture of the organization to identify root causes. Let me offer two concrete examples:

Example 1: Police Abuse of Power

When we discuss the disproportionate impact of police brutality on Black individuals, it's often framed as a 'Black people issue.' However, if we swim upstream, the real problem is police abuse of power, the overuse of force, the over-militarization of police, and the inherent deference given to authority. Officers are still human beings, with all the human conditions and biases, including a societal conditioning to fear Black people. When we acknowledge these systemic challenges, we realize these are problems that should concern all of us, impacting communities of all backgrounds, as videos often show. It's not solely a 'Black people problem'; it's a societal problem.

When we connect the dots between these struggles, and when we own our leadership power, we can join forces on issues that genuinely impact everyone. This requires us to slow down, pay attention, and resist allowing others to frame issues for us, which is a common way oppression is reinforced. Stereotypes define how people of color are expected to show up, while a narrow 'prototypical' behavior defines what is considered 'normal' for white people. This creates a double bind for people of color, expected to embody stereotypes yet also strive for a 'whiteness' disguised as normalcy. This harms our collective ability to see the world and each other clearly, to decide who we want to be for ourselves, our organizations, and how we want to engage meaningfully.

Example 2: Organizational Promotion Systems

Consider an organizational pattern where people of color follow written promotion policies, only to be denied advancement, while others succeed. Swimming upstream reveals that in practice, the organization might be operating on an informal, relationship-based promotion system that deviates from the written policy. Only a select few with the right connections can navigate this unwritten system. This disproportionately burdens people of color due to systemic racism, but it also impacts white individuals within the organization. The 'disproportionate burden' means while it affects everyone, the stakes are significantly higher for people of color.

Reclaiming Our Freedom and Building Personal Resilience

We have immense opportunities as leaders to reframe narratives, slow down, and refuse to let others define who we are or how our organizations should operate. This is about taking back our freedom and power, liberating ourselves to do the work well, to engage with others as real people, and to manage ourselves better. It means cultivating awareness of our impact on others and owning our mistakes with humility, because mistakes are inevitable. There are no perfect words or single ways to do everything.

In addition to humility, we must extend grace to those who are genuinely atoning for their impact, who have taken the time to understand what happened and what they need to do differently. This is fundamental to healthy relationships and conflict management. To move forward collectively, we must embrace the complexity of the world and each other. We must understand that we all share these human conditions, and that anyone, regardless of background, can unknowingly reinforce systems of oppression because we've all been exposed to their influence. Recognizing this means we must build new skills and unlearn old patterns, enabling us to engage more effectively with people of all backgrounds and show up as our full, authentic selves in this work, driven by love.

This is hard work, and it requires self-love and love for those around us. We must be patient with ourselves and each other, yet remain committed to doing the work, never letting ourselves off the hook, but acknowledging that mistakes will happen.

Opportunity Disguised as Hard Work: A Call to Action

I often share a favorite quote: 'Most people do not recognize opportunity because it comes disguised as hard work.' We stand at an amazing opportunity right now – a chance to shift, to reimagine ourselves, our organizations, how we allocate resources, how we work, how we engage, listen, and partner with each other, and how we clarify our strategies.

I hope you will reclaim your power. Decide for yourself who you want to be in this work, what values will guide your navigation, as you deepen your understanding of the historical and social contexts impacting all of us. This isn't about 'saving' people of color; it's about collectively saving ourselves and our communities. Thank you for this time; it has been an honor. I encourage you to lean into your **personal leadership** in your homes, your families, and your organizations, because that is the systemic change we truly need.

• What exactly is 'Personal Leadership' and how does it differ from traditional leadership roles?

  Understanding Personal Leadership

  Personal leadership refers to the ability to lead oneself effectively, guiding your own thoughts, emotions, and actions in alignment with your values and purpose. It's about taking ownership of your life and influencing your environment positively, regardless of your formal position or title. Unlike traditional leadership, which often implies a formal role within an organization (e.g., manager, CEO) with direct reports and positional authority, personal leadership is:

  • Internal First: It starts with self-awareness, self-management, and a clear understanding of your personal vision and values.
  • Universal: Anyone, at any level, can practice personal leadership – from an entry-level employee to a community member, or a parent.
  • Foundation for Others: It is often considered the prerequisite for effective leadership of others. You cannot genuinely lead others until you can lead yourself.

  Traditional leadership focuses on directing teams, achieving organizational goals, and managing resources. While these are crucial, personal leadership provides the ethical compass, resilience, and authentic influence that elevates a leader beyond mere management into true inspiration.

• How can the principles of 'Love' and 'Hope' be practically applied in complex professional or personal situations?

  Translating Love and Hope into Actionable Leadership

  In complex situations, where uncertainty and stress are high, 'Love' and 'Hope' might seem abstract, but they are powerful, practical tools for personal leadership:

  Applying Love:

  • Empathy and Compassion: Understand and share the feelings of others. In a professional context, this means listening actively, acknowledging challenges, and seeking to understand perspectives before judging. Personally, it means fostering genuine connection.
  • Respect and Dignity: Treat every individual with inherent worth, even during disagreement or conflict. This builds trust and psychological safety.
  • Generosity: Be generous with your time, knowledge, and recognition. Support colleagues or family members in their growth and challenges.
  • Courage to Care: Make decisions that prioritize well-being, even if unpopular, demonstrating a deep concern for those you lead or interact with.

  Applying Hope:

  • Visionary Optimism: Maintain a belief in a positive future outcome, even when current circumstances are difficult. Communicate this vision clearly to inspire others.
  • Resilience and Perseverance: Hope fuels the belief that setbacks are temporary and surmountable. It helps you bounce back from failure and keep moving forward.
  • Problem-Solving Mindset: Instead of dwelling on problems, hope encourages a focus on solutions and possibilities. It promotes creative thinking and adaptability.
  • Empowerment: Instill a sense of agency in others, believing in their capacity to contribute to solutions and overcome obstacles.

  By consciously integrating love and hope, you cultivate environments where people feel valued, supported, and motivated to tackle complexity together.

• What role does 'Action' play in personal leadership, particularly when facing uncertainty or difficult decisions?

  Action: The Catalyst for Change and Progress

  'Action' is the critical component that transforms love and hope from abstract ideals into tangible reality in personal leadership. When facing uncertainty or difficult decisions, action provides direction, builds momentum, and demonstrates commitment:

  • Translates Intent into Impact: Love and hope provide the 'why' and the 'what if.' Action provides the 'how' and the 'what now.' Without action, even the noblest intentions remain unfulfilled.
  • Reduces Ambiguity: In uncertain times, taking decisive, well-considered action – even small steps – can clarify situations, gather new information, and reduce anxiety for yourself and others.
  • Builds Trust and Credibility: Leaders who take responsibility and act, especially under pressure, earn the trust and respect of those around them. It shows courage and conviction.
  • Fosters Learning and Adaptation: Every action, whether it leads to success or failure, provides valuable feedback. It creates opportunities to learn, adjust, and refine your approach, which is essential for navigating complexity.
  • Generates Momentum: Inertia is a common challenge in uncertain environments. Taking action breaks this inertia, creating forward motion and encouraging others to engage.
  • Models Behavior: A personal leader's actions speak louder than words. By acting with integrity, courage, and a focus on solutions, you set an example for others to follow, inspiring collective progress.

  Ultimately, action is the engine of personal leadership, enabling you to navigate complexity not by avoiding it, but by actively engaging with it, guided by your values of love and hope.

• How can an individual leader develop the resilience needed to consistently lead with love and hope amidst ongoing complexity and potential setbacks?

  Cultivating Resilience in Personal Leadership

  Leading with love and hope in complex, often challenging environments requires significant resilience. This isn't an innate trait but a skill developed over time through intentional practices:

  1. Self-Awareness and Reflection: Regularly reflect on your emotions, triggers, and energy levels. Understand what drains you and what replenishes you. Journaling, meditation, or quiet contemplation can aid this.
  2. Prioritize Self-Care: Just as you manage organizational resources, manage your personal resources. This includes adequate sleep, healthy nutrition, regular physical activity, and engaging in hobbies that bring joy and relaxation. Burnout erodes love and hope.
  3. Build a Strong Support Network: Connect with mentors, peers, or trusted friends and family who can offer perspective, encouragement, and a safe space to process challenges. You don't have to navigate complexity alone.
  4. Embrace a Growth Mindset: View setbacks not as failures but as learning opportunities. Understand that challenges are part of the journey and contribute to your development. This fuels hope and reduces fear of mistakes.
  5. Practice Mindfulness and Presence: Stay grounded in the present moment rather than dwelling on past regrets or future anxieties. Mindfulness can help you respond thoughtfully rather than react impulsively.
  6. Define and Reconnect with Your Purpose: Regularly remind yourself of the 'why' behind your leadership. When you connect with your core values and mission, it provides a deep well of motivation and meaning, even in tough times.
  7. Celebrate Small Wins: Acknowledge and appreciate progress, no matter how minor. This builds confidence and reinforces a sense of hope and achievement, preventing discouragement.

  Resilience is not about avoiding difficulty, but about developing the capacity to navigate it with strength, adaptability, and an unwavering commitment to your guiding principles.

• For experienced leaders, how can integrating 'Love, Hope, and Action' transform team dynamics and organizational culture in a tangible way?

  Transforming Culture Through Values-Based Leadership

  For experienced leaders, consciously integrating 'Love, Hope, and Action' moves beyond personal development to create profound, tangible shifts in team dynamics and organizational culture. This strategic application of personal leadership principles leads to:

  • Enhanced Psychological Safety:
    Love: Leaders demonstrating empathy and respect create an environment where team members feel safe to express ideas, admit mistakes, and take calculated risks without fear of retribution. This fosters open communication and vulnerability.
  • Increased Employee Engagement and Retention:
    Hope: By articulating a compelling vision and showing genuine belief in their team's potential, leaders inspire purpose and motivation. Employees who feel valued and see a positive future are more committed and less likely to leave.
  • Boosted Innovation and Creativity:
    Action: A culture that encourages experimentation and learning from failure (supported by hope) and provides constructive feedback (driven by love) unleashes creative problem-solving and innovation, especially in complex environments.
  • Stronger Collaboration and Trust:
    Love & Action: Leaders who actively foster collaboration, celebrate collective achievements, and resolve conflicts with compassion build strong interpersonal bonds. This reduces silos and enhances teamwork across departments.
  • Greater Organizational Resilience and Adaptability:
    Hope & Action: Teams led with a hopeful, proactive mindset are better equipped to navigate change, pivot when necessary, and recover quickly from setbacks. They see challenges as opportunities to learn and adapt, rather than insurmountable obstacles.
  • Improved Performance and Productivity:
    All Three: When employees feel psychologically safe, engaged, and empowered to act, their productivity naturally increases. The synergy of love (care), hope (vision), and action (execution) creates a virtuous cycle of positive outcomes.

  By embodying these principles, experienced leaders don't just manage; they cultivate a thriving, human-centered culture that is inherently more resilient, innovative, and successful.

• What are some common misconceptions or challenges when attempting to embody 'Love, Hope, and Action' in a leadership context, and how can they be addressed?

  Navigating Misconceptions and Overcoming Challenges

  While powerful, leading with 'Love, Hope, and Action' can encounter resistance or be misunderstood. Here are common challenges and strategies to address them:

  1. Misconception: Love means being 'soft' or avoiding tough decisions.

  • Challenge: Fear that empathy will be perceived as weakness, leading to a reluctance to hold people accountable or make difficult, but necessary, choices.
  • Address: Emphasize that 'tough love' is still love. Leading with love means having the courage to set high standards, provide candid feedback (with compassion), and make decisions that serve the greater good, even if unpopular. It's about caring enough to challenge and develop others.

  2. Misconception: Hope is naive optimism or ignoring reality.

  • Challenge: Skepticism from others (or self-doubt) that being hopeful is unrealistic, especially in dire circumstances, or that it implies a lack of preparedness for negative outcomes.
  • Address: Frame hope as 'realistic optimism' or 'grounded hope.' Acknowledge the challenges and risks, but pair them with a focus on possibilities, solutions, and a belief in collective capacity to overcome. Hope is not about ignoring problems; it's about actively seeking pathways forward.

  3. Challenge: Burnout from constantly embodying these principles.

  • Challenge: The emotional labor required to consistently lead with empathy and maintain an optimistic outlook can be draining, leading to compassion fatigue or personal burnout.
  • Address: Prioritize robust self-care practices. Build a strong personal support system. Practice setting boundaries. Recognize that it's okay to have moments of vulnerability and to seek support when needed. Leading with love also means loving yourself enough to recharge.

  4. Challenge: Resistance to change or 'soft skills' from traditionalists.

  • Challenge: Some organizational cultures may be entrenched in hierarchical, command-and-control models, viewing these human-centered approaches as less effective or 'fluffy.'
  • Address: Demonstrate tangible results. Connect these principles directly to improved team performance, reduced turnover, increased innovation, and enhanced resilience. Showcase success stories and build a coalition of like-minded leaders to champion the shift.

  By proactively addressing these misconceptions and challenges, leaders can effectively integrate Love, Hope, and Action, fostering a more humane and ultimately more effective leadership paradigm.